Djang0 the Exile
"That fella, Djang0? Folks calls him the Exile. Not a whole lot is known about him, cept that he has some pretty amazing powers. I saw him get in a fight once with a buncha youngins. They was on the ground before the drew their guns!" -Old Man Ralph, talking about Djang0 Djang0 the Exile is the first demi-god of the Whiki and a legendary gun-samurai. He is the Grand Master of the No Ones and Keeper of the Last D&D Scroll. While little is known about him among the populace, the Temple of the Gun-Samurai has an entire section of their library devoted to him. While he seems to be young, not much older than 18, accounts of his exploits go back centuries. There are some who believe that he is a time traveller. Child and Teenage Years Djang0's true name is Jay, and it is still a mystery as to why he changed it. He was born in the town of Tsunetomo in year 8975. As a child, Jay spent much of his time meditating and learning from Gun-Samurai Yamamoto. Since the village of Tsunetomo was somewhat isolated from the rest of the world, Jay led a quiet life for some time. While isolated, Tsunetomo still came under attack by pirates and bandits from time to time. Jay first discovered the Internet in 8987. Unlike most people his age, the first thing he typed in the search bar was "Nice, modest girls" and he had no intention to do anything but look. He did not discover the number 34 or the CatDog Wars DVD box set until he was 15, after which he abandoned his observe-only policy. Jay began his training to become a Gun-Samurai at the age of 13. His training took place in the Temple of the Gun-Samurai, just up the road from Tsunetomo. The training was long and harsh, but the young Jay passed his tests with flying colors. His master, Gun-Samurai Yamamoto, often praised Jay's skills in combat and meditation. Despite all of this, Jay was not prepared for what would happen after his training. Fall of the Gun-Samurai In 8992, Tsunetomo and the Temple were attacked by the Quishó War Conglomerate, an alliance of vicious warrior tribes that had been warring with the Gun-Samurai for centuries. The Gun-Samurai held off the Quishó for seven days until they were finally driven back to the Temple. There, the defenders made a final stand against the Quishó. The Temple was lost when Quorshleq, the Champion of the Quishó, tore Master Yamamoto's head off with his own hand. Jay reacted with a cliché "Good God, why" rant. For three years, the Quishó ruled over Tsunetomo and the surrounding lands. Jay labored as Quorshleq's personal slave until 8994, when he successfully escaped and sliced off the Warlord's left hand. Jay hid in the forests surrounding the Temple, where he found other Gun-Samurai who had survived the original battle. They formed a resistance group to drive out the Quishó. Over the next year, the Gun-Samurai slowly picked off the Quishó army. Jay came to be known as Zero by his comrades, because whenever he led a mission, the Gun-Samurai suffered no casualties and no Quishó were left alive. In 8995, the Gun-Samurai revolt completely drove out the Quishó, and the Gun-Samurai took back the Temple. Jay was awarded the title of Gun-Samurai and the option to change his name. After careful thought, he officially changed his name to Django. Encounter with Fourwind In 8997, a Catgirl by the name of Kira arrived at the Temple to see audience with the Council. The Quishó War Conglomerate, after their brutal defeat at the hands of the Gun-Samurai, had attacked and occupied her village. The Council of the Gun-Samurai denied her request for aid, however Django went against the Council's orders. On the next morning, Django and Kira set out from the Temple to find Quorshleq and kill him. Django had a personal vendetta against Quorshleq, but in all honesty he just wanted to bang Kira. On the seventh day of their journey, Django and Kira arrived at The Village of Dirt Roads and Thatched Roofs. While checking in at the Red Dagron Inn, Django met and beat the shit out of Melvin in the course of 30 seconds. He totally deserved it, because Melvin is a horrible person. After they checked in and got a room, Django heard strange voices. They weren't in his head though, everyone could hear them, these voices screaming his name in anger. So Django climbed Mount Tallashell to find the source of the screaming. It was on that day that Django first met the God Fourwind. He found Fourwind sexing up several of his monster girls, a sight that Django still regrets to this day. Fourwind had summoned Django to the Castle of Insanity out of boredom, but saw potential in the young Gun-Samurai. Seeing Django as a possible tool of chaos, Fourwind gave Django intense powers of insanity and cast him off of the mountain. When Django returned to the Village of Dirt Roads and Thatched Roofs, he was driven by insanity. Oh, and he totally banged Kira. Death of Quorshleq and Exile Django and Kira arrived at her village too late. Quorshleq and his armies had nearly destroyed the surrounding forests and murdered most of the village's inhabitants. The pair fought their way through the Quishó, slaying as many warriors as they could. Throughout the battle, Django managed to keep his insanity in check, ensuring the safety of Kira and any other innocents. Victory was almost theirs, when Quorshleq arrived on the battlefield. He incapacitated Kira and took on Django one-on-one. The duel lasted for hours, with neither side gaining any ground. Finally, Quorshleq managed to grab Django and started to crush the life out of him. As Django started to pass out, he remembered the power Fourwind had given him. With his final thought, Django completely gave in to his insanity. When Django woke up, he was in the center of a massive crater, with Kira lying nearby. The smoldering remains of Quorshleq were scattered around the crater, and Quishó warriors were fleeing the area. Django stood, picked up Kira, and climbed out of the crater without a word. Witness reports are varied. Some say he flew away, others say he vanished. But all of them agree that Django's eyes were on fire the whole time. When Django returned to Tsunetomo, he was greeted with hostility. The Council was still furious at him for disobeying their decree. Not only that, but he was charged with the destruction of a village, the death of multiple innocents, and bangin' a monster girl (that last part was just the Council being jealous). During his trial, Django responded to every question with maniacal laughter, and it is said that he burned out the High Judge's eyes with his mind. Unable to contain his madness, and fearing that he may destroy the Temple, the Gun-Samurai Council agreed to place Django in permanent exile from Tsunetomo. Django wandered the Whiki for years, letting his insanity take him in any direction. He fought dagrons, Ugly Bitches, and the God Hates Monsterfckers organization. There was no one on the Whiki that Django would not fight. After killing one of nearly every species in the Whiki, he set his sights on an impossible task: killing a God. Once again, Django climbed to the top of Mount Tallashall, this time with the intent to slay Fourwind. The combination of his madness and the life force of his previous victims had made him nearly unstoppable. He attacked Fourwind without warning, giving his all into his first strike. But despite his immense power, his blade cracked on Fourwind's neck. Within seconds, Django was Rose'd. The strike was powerful, but it could not destroy him. Fourwind cast Django into another dimension and sealed the rift, believing Django to be dealt with permanently. Django spent the next 3000 years floating in a dimension of nothingness, with nothing to destroy. Overtime, the madness inside him disappeared. For 3000 years he meditated, calming himself. At last he reached full enlightenment, the ultimate goal of the Gun-Samurai, and the ability to create worlds. He turned his dimension of nothingness into a universe of possibility. He reigned over his world as Fourwind did in his. But of course, he was still not as powerful as Fourwind. Return to the Whiki In 9001, Fourwind openned the Whiki up to demi-gods from other dimensions. While Django may have already been from the Whiki, he was still in a way from another dimension. He returned willingly, hoping to continue his quest to find further enlightenment. He has since wandered the Whiki, assisting villagers and the helpless, hoping to redeem himself for the horrors he once committed.